Shades of Friendship

    We all have friends. People have tendency to divide friends into simple, true , good and best friends or may be other types.

     That is not unnatural because among friends we really develop some kind of extra intimacy with some one and rightly he/she is termed as true /best friend. And rest remains good friends. But to say that some friends are bad or even worst is not fair. Friendship is a pious word and you can not associate it for someone who is bad/worst for you. A friend may develop some bad habits , even he may become really bad in terms of social parameters, yet he may remain your friend, if his attitude remains the same for you. A bad person can be your good friend and at the same time a bad 'friend' can be a good person. that is what we say Interpersonal relationship. The moment a friend behaves in unfriendly manner / deceives you, he ceases to be your friend. He then becomes bad or worst person  only. He at the most can be a nonfriend of you. A nonfriend does not deserve friendly treatment, he deserve proper courtesy and manner. A person can be your neighbour, your colleague , your co worker, your supervisor, your boss , your subordinate, your co passenger etc , they all deserve respect, courtesy and disciplined behaviour from you. Friendly behaviour should be reserved for friends only. Mutual trust is cornerstone of friendship. so one should be careful in choosing a friend.

    Everyone wants a true friend, and many of us believe that we have a friend who can be called a true friend. What kind of relations do friends share? When can we call a friend a true friend, and when can our friends take us as their true friend. Friendship is the most important relationships we can have. Though all of us have family , most of us rely on friends for advice, comfort and inspiration. How do we define a relation that can be called as one of true friendship?

    The very first sign of a very good friend, not necessarily a true friend is that we are not worried about courtesies. You will call your friend at any hour and talk without any thought of time in your mind. Similarly, whenever you need support, you will call a very good friend and ask him/her to help you out. They expect the same from you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much worried about exposing ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without worrying about what our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk.

    A true friend is a little more than a very good friend. A true friend will support you even if it hurts his/her own interest. A true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be with you without any analysis or criticism. A true friend will come forward to help without any request and be with us in need without showing it or expecting anything in return. With a true friend, you can be sure that you will get help to the extent possible by him/her.

    A true friend makes no excuses of having work or appointments or anything but will be with you whenever you need him/her. In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you. A true friend is not an opportunist. if you have a true friend, treat yourself lucky.

But irony is that sometimes your really nice and good friend can give you a lesson, even hard lesson !

 How to deal with difficult people

Have you ever wondered why some people are difficult to work with?
Individuals behave in a difficult manner because they have learned that doing so keeps others off balance and incapable of effective action. Worst of all, they appear immune to all the usual methods of communication and persuasion designed to convince or help them change their ways
How to Cope
Avoid these “don'ts” when dealing with difficult people:
Don't take difficult people's behaviour personally. Their troublesome behaviour is habitual and affects most people with whom they come in contact.
Don't fight back or try to beat them at their own games. They have been practicing their skills for a lifetime, and you're an amateur.
Don't try to appease them. Difficult people have an insatiable appetite for more.
Don't try to change them. You can only change your responses to their behaviour.
Here's how you can cope effectively with following common types of difficult people.
The Complainer
There's always one person in a office who can never find anything about which to be happy. If he's not complaining about his health or family, he's complaining about his job, the company, or even his superior. Of course, some of his complaints may be legitimate, but the incessant whining is getting on your nerves. Generally, the complainer isn't looking for advice so offering it probably won't do any good. Change the subject whenever the bellyaching begins. Your colleague should get the hint after you do this repeatedly.
The Delegator
In almost every workplace you'll find someone who wants to share his work with his colleagues. I am not talking about those who have a legitimate reason to delegate work to others .I am speaking of those who either can't do all the work, they have been given or don't want to do it.. Tell your co worker you have your own work with which  you have to deal and you have no time to engage with his assignment.
The Credit Grabber
The credit grabber does not acknowledge any help he receives from others. he accepts all the praise for a successfully completed assignment without mentioning that he didn't do it alone. The first time this happens, consider it a mistake. Mention it to your colleague and ask him to let others know about your participation. If he doesn't, or if this happens again, make sure you let others know about the role you played in getting that project done. Then, unless you are mandated to work with this person, refuse to help out again.