Shades of Friendship

    We all have friends. People have tendency to divide friends into simple, true , good and best friends or may be other types.

     That is not unnatural because among friends we really develop some kind of extra intimacy with some one and rightly he/she is termed as true /best friend. And rest remains good friends. But to say that some friends are bad or even worst is not fair. Friendship is a pious word and you can not associate it for someone who is bad/worst for you. A friend may develop some bad habits , even he may become really bad in terms of social parameters, yet he may remain your friend, if his attitude remains the same for you. A bad person can be your good friend and at the same time a bad 'friend' can be a good person. that is what we say Interpersonal relationship. The moment a friend behaves in unfriendly manner / deceives you, he ceases to be your friend. He then becomes bad or worst person  only. He at the most can be a nonfriend of you. A nonfriend does not deserve friendly treatment, he deserve proper courtesy and manner. A person can be your neighbour, your colleague , your co worker, your supervisor, your boss , your subordinate, your co passenger etc , they all deserve respect, courtesy and disciplined behaviour from you. Friendly behaviour should be reserved for friends only. Mutual trust is cornerstone of friendship. so one should be careful in choosing a friend.

    Everyone wants a true friend, and many of us believe that we have a friend who can be called a true friend. What kind of relations do friends share? When can we call a friend a true friend, and when can our friends take us as their true friend. Friendship is the most important relationships we can have. Though all of us have family , most of us rely on friends for advice, comfort and inspiration. How do we define a relation that can be called as one of true friendship?

    The very first sign of a very good friend, not necessarily a true friend is that we are not worried about courtesies. You will call your friend at any hour and talk without any thought of time in your mind. Similarly, whenever you need support, you will call a very good friend and ask him/her to help you out. They expect the same from you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much worried about exposing ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without worrying about what our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk.

    A true friend is a little more than a very good friend. A true friend will support you even if it hurts his/her own interest. A true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be with you without any analysis or criticism. A true friend will come forward to help without any request and be with us in need without showing it or expecting anything in return. With a true friend, you can be sure that you will get help to the extent possible by him/her.

    A true friend makes no excuses of having work or appointments or anything but will be with you whenever you need him/her. In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you. A true friend is not an opportunist. if you have a true friend, treat yourself lucky.

But irony is that sometimes your really nice and good friend can give you a lesson, even hard lesson !

Half century of my life !

         Celebrating 20th anniversery of my 30th Birthday. Wow ! What a way to describe the 50th birthday. No doubt , Completing 50 years of  life certainly is momentous, a big milestone. It is time of celebration and also a time  to evaluate what is important and what is not, in next part of my life.

         I can feel happy, for the simple reason that I am healthy. Living in this world, full of pollution and also with not so good food habit,it is by no means a big achievement if you turn 50 and you are not on  any single daily dosage of any kind of drug. That makes me feel happy, satisfied and it is inspiring for me also. So I take a pledege today that 50 onwards, it will be my duty to take full care of my body by increasing physcical activities and also with balanced diet.

        Turning 50 is a great occassion. I know , one part of my life has ended and I have entered into second and final part of my life. It gives me  a chance to look back into my life, my achievements, my failures , both have contributed a lot in shaping my life. I know, I have a number of great and good friends , who have stood with me in every season of life, they have done a lot for me, I lose my words when I try to explian their role in my well being. THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THEN A TRUE FRIEND IN YOUR LIFE.

         I also know , I have a bunch of enemies too. Their role I can't underestimate..It is said that however bad a man, he will have some friends: however good, he will have some enemies.I know, You can't have only friends in your life, some Nonfriends or enemies are always in your life.

       As I grow old, I think objectives of my life may be changing but it is my duty to make it more purposeful and beautiful.

       At 50 now, I find life richer and fuller than ever, and I can still run four K.M. any time, (and , in lighter vein, hope still today some young women can hit me !! :-) ).

       I know I am moving towards something very good, and MOST IMORTANT we all go there anyway.

      So it is party time for me and all my friends ... Let us enjoy !!

Holi at Siwan

     Returned from my home at Siwan on 29th March after celebrating Holi there with family. Last time when i celebrated holi at my home in siwan was in the year 2003 . That time I celebrated this festival with my Father. With the death of my father in 2004 , we never went there during festival days. So much sentiments are attached with that my house , but could not 'dare' to go there in holi .
It is a fact that it is only holi when I tried every year to be with my parents at Siwan or my village. I remember that barring a few (One or Two) , every year I made it a rule to be with them during holi. This 'rule' didnot apply on other festivals like Diwali etc.
My father was such a towering personality that entire area revolved around him for every kind of advice. He was so active in social works that each and everyone of area essentially used to greet him in holi by paying a visit  to my house.

That is the main reason that after the sad demise of my father , that I thought me and my mother , my wife, children will not be able to remain normal at siwan during holi.
Holi at siwan without my father is very disturbing, but life has to move on. So after nine years of death of my father , I decided to go to siwan during holi and feel his omnipresent presence at the home which he had built with so much passion.

It was an emotional visit. I liked and enjoyed it .
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. "

Funny Mnagement Lessons

Mnagement of an office (read your boss) may sometimes behave in a manner which makes you feel very sad, frustrated and angry. But a job is a job, your options are very limited . To remain silent and feel the pinch of unjustice becomes the only option to maintain peace. (Something like this has happened with me )
Just to make it lighter and and dessiminating my anger, I have collected some funny yet meaningfull management lessons:

Lesson 1


A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the admin. clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 2

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.


Lesson 3:

A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.


Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.


Lesson 4


A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Moral of the story:

1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy

2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend

3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

Hai na amazing !

Visit to Vishakhapatanam (Andhra Pradesh)

A one week visit to Vizag to atten a workshop on virtual studio becane a life time event for me. So much fun , so much travelling with some old friends and also some really nice new friends. We shared with each other all kinds of feelings and it will remain in my memory for ever.
Just posting some photographs:

Happy days are back

It is said that Life is like a coin. Pleasure and Pain are the two sides. Only one side is visible at a time. But remember other side is also waiting for it's turn. So perhaps for me it has just turned positive . After ordeal of more than two and half months , I am back again at my desired place of posting.
Happy days are here again

The skies above are clear again

So let's sing a song of cheer again

Happy days are here again

Altogether shout it now

There's no one

Who can doubt it now

So let's tell the world about it now

Happy days are here again


But I have also learnt a lot of lesson. So much mud slanging, so much dirty politics, so much back biting, unethical game but any how it gets managed and I am today able to show that decision of authority should remain intact with respect to me. At this moment of time, I MUST DECLARE IN UNEQUIVOCAL TERMS THAT I AM HIGHLY OBLIGED TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO DURING THIS PERIOD OF CRISIS STOOD WITH ME.Without their support this task was simply impossible to achieve.


What's greater then mom's love?

Which pillow is better then Mom lap?

Which company's better then friends?

There are some things in life with no substitutes.

Love them forever.

Ek Haadsa

सासाराम जाने के क्रम में दिनांक १२ जुलाई की घटना को भुलाना लगभग असंभव है. जिस टाटा सुमो से मै जा रहा था , पिरो से पहले उसने एक अधेड़ महिला को बीच सड़क पर धक्का मारा , बदकिस्मती से उस महिला की तत्काल उसी क्षण वँही पर मौत हो गई. अपने सामने वीभत्स मौत का नज़ारा मैंने पहली बार देखा . प्राण मुंह को आ गए. ऐसा लगा मानो सारी दुनिया यंही खत्म हो जाएगी . ड्राईवर ने जैसे तैसे गाडी को नियंत्रित किया. हम सभी यात्री चिल्लाए - भागो, भागो , और ड्राईवर गाडी लेकर भाग निकला. पीछे से लोगों का शोर सुने दिया. उस वक़्त हमें अपनी और ड्राईवर की सुरक्षा की चिंता थी. लेकिन मौत से ठीक पहले महिला के चेहरे की भाव भंगिमा , मन से निकलने का नाम ही नहीं ले रही थी.

The kind of emotions displayed on her face- the surprise, the fear, her desperate attemt to escape and finally her helplessness in front of a speeding vehicle, all made me really very sad. Not only sad but also I felt guilty of not doing anything to save her. Should I have forced driver to stop after the accident? But this might have led to lynching of driver by irate mob. I cursed my fate .

मै उस दिन न ठीक से खा सका और न ही रात में ठीक से सो सका. महिला का चेहरा हमेशा मेरे जेहन में कई दिनों तक घूमता रहा. हो सकता हो की उस महिला के बच्चे उसकी प्रतीक्षा कर रहे हो. एक माँ के बिना उनके जीवन की क्या दशा हो सकती है. वो किसी की पत्नी होगी, किसी की बेटी होगी, किसी की बहन होगी, यह भी हो सकता है की किसी के पालने पोषने की पूरी जिम्मेवारी उसी के कंधे पर हो. निश्चित तौर पर एक व्यक्ति के चले जाने के बाद पूरा परिवार विखर सकता है.

Why sometime fate or bhagya becomes so bad for some people? Why without our own fault , really bad things happen to us? What is life? Why we take so much pain to shape up it when we know that it can any day without warning, without notice ? Why we plan so much for future?

इस दुर्घटना के ठीक एक दिन बाद मै बीमार पड़ा. कहीं ऐसा तो नहीं की मृत महिला की आत्मा ने मुझे और अन्य यात्रियों को श्राप दिया हो ?उस दुर्घटना में मेरा कोई role नहीं था पर guilty feeling तो हो ही जाती है...................

Still Waiting for something to ............

Oof...... I am writing a blog almost after a gap of Two months. Reason is that I am waiting and waitnig something to happen after a mess created by my headquarter and of course some too much engagement , some mental, some physcical............

Still waiting .................... ah.............................

If pain has to come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. So why fate is playing a waiting game?
 I just remember the great Eienstein who had said:There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. I just think that really it is nothing sort of miracle that one day an order is issued and next day you are asked to wait. And this waiting is continued as if it will continue till the end of earth. So what should I think everything is miracle ? The best way is to adjust and accept all these miracles thrust on you !

People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.
Still the hope remains - The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance, but live right in it, under its roof.